In a future much like the present, the Earth is host to a variety of Cetaceans within its seas. These giant fleshy beasts of the deep have long been sought after sources of riches, providing enough oil to lubricate a robot army for weeks, and enough pre-digested plankton to fill a million sea monkey tanks.

It is in this future we find godinpants, documenting the great downfall of mankind against its Cetacean foes.


It started like this, the seas boiled over as the great whale lord and his army of darkness came upon the land, their photon blasters aimed at all terrestrial life, obliterating all who stood in their path thus was the 'Lectrodeth. The mightiest of these whale warriors were the Neon Whales. Guided by the stench of humanity, they stalked the nights, their ever visible glow ominously lighting up the night skies.

The whale screams above the waters surface were much harsher and violent than we had previously conceived via oceanic recordance. They utilised a method of pulsewhalemodulation to communicate simply through their vocal utterances.

By the seventh day of the whale uprising, only one third of humanity remained. The survivors were for the most part, convened in an underground military bunker, where scientists were attempting to defrost the greatest whale hunter known to mankind. Xaion Ahab the illegitimate child of famous whale hunter Ahab. Frozen after being taken hostage during the whaling rebellion of Japan. As she dreamed she was an icecube, then woke up as a puddle.

As she road out onto the battlefield armed with her sonic harpoon she saw a bright light in the sky, something was coming to earth, and it was coming fast. Visions from the hubble whaleoscope provided her more information as to what was happening. The fabled intergalactic Whale Lord was coming to Earth, having caught word of the ongoing battle taking place on the Earth. As he drew closer, his calls grew louder, more intimidating, as he came in to destroy the remnants of humanity and defeat the whale hunter.

And thus began the final chapter of the War of the Whales photon blasters lit up the sky, as the Whale Lord and Xaion locked in an epic duel to the death. The Whale Lords immense roar, coupled with the blast emitted with each use of the sonic harpoon was quickly driving Xaion to deafness, and she knew she had to bring an end to the war quickly. With the remaining human population critically low, the only option was a suicide attack upon the Whale Lord.
Smothering herself in plankton juice, Xaion laid in wait of the Whale Lord, knowing that once he found the warrior, he would be unable to resist devouring her. As the Whale Lord approached, he found the lifeless body of the warrior, and began to inhale. Whales, being filter feeders could only use this method of consumption, despite having grafted arms and legs upon their bodies for the purposes of battles. Xaion's plan had worked, she was inside the great Whale Lord, and now had only to complete her plan. Summoning the last of her strength, as she was devoured by the Whale Lord's stomach acids, she fired her sonic harpoon, penetrating the skull and sending shards of it into her foe's brain tissue.

The Whale Lord was defeated, and in his death, the Cetacean Army retreated into the darkness of the ocean. Where they would plan their next uprising and attempt to conquer the Earth for themselves. The Earth's population would recover slowly, as the cities were rebuilt, but the warrior was long dead by the time her remnants were located within the bloated corpse of the Whale Lord.

And thus ended World War Whale.

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